Sunday, February 11, 2018

A Crow Looked At Me, and grief in media.

I listened to an album called “A Crow Looked At Me” by Mount Eerie last year, and it's arguably one of the most important things that I've listened to in the sense of how formative it's been for me as a writer. In a year full of good albums, this one stood out the most, but I hesitate grouping it with those albums and I hesitate calling it good. It's hard to recommend because of how untraditional it is in an album sense, since it's at best described as reading a diary over minimalistic guitar strums that even Phil Elverum himself describes as “barely music.” It's also hard to recommend since it's one of the most soul-crushing pieces of media I've ever partaken in, being an intimate and extremely uncomfortable glimpse into the aftermath of Phil's wife passing away from pancreatic cancer only 35 years into her life, not even a year after their daughter was born. There's a particular ideology about the album that reinforced a concept that I've grown to believe in as my writing's progressed and I've been forced to confront more of my personal demons, frequently losing to them in the process.

Apathy has become prevalent in my writing as the years have gone on and the reason I've stopped writing as much is that, while talking about depression and emptiness can seem cathartic and profound, it always felt insufficient. Like I couldn't adequately discuss it. I think talking about those things doesn't necessarily equate to describing them. Apathy and emptiness are nebulous concepts that always feel hard to articulate in prose because they're by nature an absence of something. It is not a feeling, because there is nothing to feel. It's not the same as “feeling bad” or “feeling indifferent” or “not caring”. Being indifferent and disregarding towards things is different than emptiness and apathy. It's something that can only occur when you've been hurt irreparably, when you've lost something important about yourself. When your feelings have no choice but to retreat, to cease functioning in a situation or time period entirely.

For some of the most traumatic occurrences in my life, I do not remember most of them, at least in explicit detail. I was not there when they happened. I could not have been there when they happened. Something about yourself is now gone and your body just has to reconstitute itself to function again properly without it. Trying to do that and failing is what depression from tragedy is, where you have to acknowledge your inability to function without something in your life anymore. The clawing feeling of a familiar presence slowly being replaced with the vague memory of it instead, where the emulation in your head is what the new normal is. Memories become a weird sort of uncanny valley with a surreal disconnect to them while you slowly adjust to what's become reality.

Writing about personal tragedy and depression is not necessarily meant to accurately portray that feeling to the reader, moreso that it's meant to act as a surrogate or a shitty emulation of the part of themselves that has gone missing or was taken from them. Cheap melodrama and sentimentality is a punch to the face, a sting meant to evoke immediate emotion or sympathy. There's an audible gasp from the audience and then some sobbing and powerful erratic emotions because we as human beings relate to strong displays of emotion. While there's nothing inherently wrong with this, media has grown to trivialize, even glorify how tragedy and loss actually affects the human soul. There's always something that's a bit less genuine about it

Real emptiness, actual depression is cold, numb, and flaccid. It's a slog, a slow burn, an agonizing wither that nobody wants anything to do with. Sadness, tragedy and depression is frequently not a gunshot, it's being stuck in quicksand and slowly dying of exposure. And when it's presented in a form of media meant to be consumed, it should repulse the person absorbing it. It's not meant to be enjoyed, it's not meant to be taken as an art or a story where you feel like you're a better person for partaking in it. It should make you feel like shit, like you didn't learn anything from it. It should fill you with dread, it should make you want to distance yourself from it because it confronts you with an ugliness that you either can't adequately comprehend and cope with, or if you're far too familiar with it, are aware of how devastating it is. And if you have any shred of empathy, you shouldn't want it to exist because since it does, that meant that it was somebody's reality.

“A Crow Looked At Me” was an album that has altered my perception of why I write about my struggles with depression, loss, and coping. It's made me rethink what it means to use tools of self-expression to cope with tragedy going forward. I think in order to grow as a person, not every piece of media that makes you a better person is supposed to leave you feeling “good”. Music, shows, videogames, how shallow of us would it be to reduce these things down to mere escapism, or that every sad thing that happens in them plays on junk food sentimentality rather than actual palpable grief or sadness, in a world where sometimes life is just shitty or unfair.

And while that's a transformative thing to go through, I still wish that this album didn't exist because that means these things happened to Phil. I wish that I could've reevaluated something like this by not having to listen to this album. I don't want to learn anything from feeling hurt like this from a piece of media. There is a good chance that after only about three complete listens to this album, I will probably never listen to it again. I think the album accomplishes what it set out to do because much like what Phil's gone through to make this album, I don't want it to be real either. Despite my lack of familiarity with his other works like other Mount Eerie albums or the Microphones, I just want Phil to be okay after something like this. This is an album that I would not wish upon anybody to have to write.

And if all this makes it sound like this album is something you don't want to listen to, then I don't blame you. But it's also an album that nobody wanted to exist, especially not Phil. You won't feel like a better person for having listened to it, nor will you find it easy to judge based on traditional parameters of how you think you should approach a music album. But it will leave an impact on you, perhaps one you wouldn't want. But that's sort of what the whole album is about, and it's the closest I've at least gotten to empathizing with real grief and depression from a small piece of music.